My grandma is 84 and is in need of some type of assisted living community. She can take care of herself, but needs some assistance. My mom loves caring for my grandma but over the years, my grandma has become increasingly more demanding. My grandma is very stubborn and refuses to realize how much of a toll she is taking on my mom. My mom has a family of her own and although she loves helping my grandma, she has been forced into neglecting her immediate family to run errands on a daily basis for my grandma.
We would like to get her into an assisted living community but it is significantly more expensive than all of us can afford combined. We feel it would take much convincing to get her ti agree to moving in the first place, but she would love having accessible friends and help at the drop of a dime. Also, the activities would stimulate her mind and she would be happy there. We would visit on a daily basis and the visits would be happier visits than they are now.
The problem is how to afford such a thing. Any suggestions? (she currently has a house but doesn’t want to sell it right away, she has limited savings/CDs/annuities/etc. She receives a check every month for less than 1/3 the amount the assisted living rent would be, not the mention the phone and cable bill that would be attached to the rent…
Please help me find a solution if there is one………
?
March 12, 2010 at 11:55 pm
If she’s of sound mind and doesn’t have a power of attorney, she can do whatever she wants.
Check with your local office for the aging. They may be able to guide you.
complicatedtallblonde
March 13, 2010 at 12:28 am
My grandmother is in a nursing home and it is paid for by the government. When you work for your whole life and you get older and can’t they have taxes that pay for nursing homes and assisted living… that is how she can go there. Contact the assisted living director and ask her how you can afford this and if there is hud housing or whatever.
susy
March 13, 2010 at 12:41 am
Get a caregiver to come and take care of her at home full time or if you could not afford a full time maybe a part time or you could split the work between family or between family and caregiver. Hope that helps. Good luck to you.
Mercy
March 13, 2010 at 1:13 am
sorry you should have informed the Lady of the house for whom your house actually is. You missed your opportunity. Let alone after-wards you switched my desire to get close to you into an abusive love relationship where you have raped me constantly into assuring you that THAT was my decision. It wasnt. I know where I was when I came to you, why I behaved the way I did was to see whether there was aground where I could get help and offer what I have in return. However, the ground turned to be so rotten that even dying in the desert was a better prospect than to let them drink my blood and apply salt on my wounds just to make themselves bigger and more advanced. Not in this life. What is worse, you have forever spoiled any intention for me to ever attach myself to any community, it just proved how awful disgusting places of abuse of the weak the communities have become. What are you doing my love, why did you do all these things, I cannot understand it with the help of my mind, my heart tells me that onltotallyly desperate person would find such distant ways from the Divine to wait for Him/Her. If a man didnt want me, ehy did you insist on being a man? Changed your mind when finaly realized what I am for real, not so strong or terrible, nor selfish odis-functionalal in need ostraighteningng up. Then say so. It is merciful ancompassionatete. Dont play these games any more. Just say: I changed my mind. thou gtgt you are different. Now I see I have been hitting the person much weaker than myself and the amusement is gone. Part our ways…… He would forgive you. He always does…..But once you do that, do not ever turn to look at the woman. Stay focused to bad things and things that made you turn me down. Dont ever turn to see where the woman is. She is not yours any more. Her life is not yours any more.
Sherman
March 13, 2010 at 1:54 am
Check this out. As far as I know, each state has what is called In Home Health Services. Each County has one or two offices, depending on size of the county. This place has people that do just what you need. They move in with grandma, take care of her, do her errands, whatever, and employee is paid for by the state. You check into this, really. I know a number of people in the situation you are in. This will release your mom, and she can maybe help out when the girl needs a day off. It is a 24/7 job, these gals just move in. A lot of them are CNA’s and have the medical ability to care for an 84 year old woman. There can even be one that comes in when the main one needs a vacation or whatever. IN HOME HEALTH CARE. If you can’t find it under that, check with your local welfare office, you will find it if you try. Good luck and smile, there is an answer!